When Is A Friend, Really A Friend?

I, over the years have moved circles quite a bit where friends are concerned. However, the ones who are close to me, have stuck around through it all, from the start and despite a lot of things, they are here now.

This leads me to one very strong point, which I feel has caused a lot of completely unnecessary heartache.

I have a lot of 'friends' who live very close to me, and I see on a fairly regular basis. Now, these people have been my friends since I moved to High Wycombe, 6 years ago. So, it makes me wonder, how a random meeting of another friend, who lives so far away but has totally proved herself to be a true friend, creates such issues amongst other people (or one person in particular).

I think now, I am at the age where I can call myself an adult, (some may well disagree, especially when my alter ego comes out after a few drinks) and therefore am more than capable of controlling my feelings, behaving in an adult fashion, and conducting an adult conversation - perhaps about said feelings. So, I cant help but wonder, why is it some people (person) find it difficult to talk about feelings they may well have, and instead conduct 'Chinese whispers' in order to get a message to me.
I absolutely understand how the unfortunate people who got roped into playing messenger must feel, and I would like to make it perfectly clear, NO HARD FEELINGS.

I think I am just disappointed that I could not have been approached direct, to hear it first hand, instead of third. I am also disappointed, that there has even had to be any kind of issue at all, especially as I am not under the impression that I have any significance in a certain persons life anymore, and do not understand why they cannot behave in an adult fashion, and at the very least, just deal with any issues they may have.
Because, honestly, I COULD NOT CARE LESS.

I am happy in my life now, and I value my friends more than ever, my real ones especially. But even more than all of that, I totally value the amazing relationship that I am fortunate enough to say that I have.
I have a man that is perfect in everyway, funny, outgoing, excellent job, great prospects, is gorgeous, and to top it all off, is my best friend. Even if, for whatever reason, things turned out for the worse between us, I know, I would still be treated with respect, and we would both be capable of behaving like adults.

I guess what I am trying to say is, if there is an issue amongst a group of friends, you should be able enough to deal with those issues like a man, (or woman) and the true friends out of that group, will stick by you, defend you, and feel terrible for the position they would have been put in, when really, they should not have been involved in the first place!I am grateful for those who do defend me in any circumstance, and appreciate the real friendship I am fortunate enough to have.

Sorry to rant, but had to get that off my chest.