Well, hello!!!

It has been a while...I seem to start every post off with this...I have been somewhat out of the loop recently. But I have a resolution with myself, to make this my venting place!

So sorry for anyone who might read this...be prepared! haha!!

So, as I said it has been a really long time since I wrote on here, and so much has happened.

Firstly and most importantly, my boy.

He is amazing, such an awesome character now! So funny and a great little buddy to have around. He was a page boy this weekend at one of my best friends weddings - it was amazing!!!

Huge congratulations to Sally and the GUFF-ROOOOY - and also thank you for such a fantastic day!! Enjoy the honeymoon!!

Olly looked so cute in his suit, and was so well behaved! I was a proud mummge! Photos will follow once I sort my life out :o)

I have also been away snowboarding with the girls, that was so much fun, and a fab weekend get-away!

This was me, after having had a go on Shelley's skis (hence the boots!)....I will be sticking to boarding!!

We are definitely going back to Chamonix next year, although probably for a week this time!

Chamonix - brace yourself!!

One of the most exciting things going on at the moment - I am moving house . Those who know me will probably groan and say I do that a lot, but I don't actually. I am moving to a newly re-furbished house in Hazlemere, and I cant wait.

Not particularly child friendly with the choice of decor, however...I figure I just wrap plastic over everything and see what happens!

So, I will update again very very soon, i just though I would check in!!

PS; MARNIE - UPDATE!!!!

Boys Night Sorted

Is it just me??

See... I am not too sure if it is just me, but I cant seem to get this little gripe out of my head. I cant help but feel a bit of a hypocrite?
I always said that I never wanted to be a single parent, or I didn't know how people could do it. There seems to be some sort of social stigma attached to being a single parent, and I openly hold my hands up and admit I am as guilty of pre-judging as the next person. Now, all of this may well be in my head, but since I found myself in this situation, I constantly feel the need to justify or explain.
Admittedly I'm not the 16 year old, no house, no money, no support, no father for baby type we constantly hear about but still...I feel as alone and scared as I am sure she might do.

Tbrings me to my next point. Im 24, ( Iknow, i look so young...cough). The thought that I am a parent, absolutely, terrifies me. (and im sure it scares the hell out of people who know me too!!:o)) So, I can only imagine how these young girls feel. No matter what they say, they are not ready to be parents. They are only children themselves.

Im not too sure where Im going with this, but all I guess I wanted to say was, this parenting lark is not easy, even if you have the support of a partner. So I know it doesn't help to have the judgemental stares from passers by, or comments from so-called friends.

Humph.

Moan over.

Baby top trumps...

Nuff said

Oceans 11

Just watching Oceans 11, for about the millionth time, and the dude in it, have no idea what his name is.... WORST FAKE ENGLISH ACCENT.......EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

this guy on the right

So annoying!!!

Welcome To The World

Massive congratulations to Paul & Sam, who gave birth to their new daughter, Charlotte Emily this afternoon!

Cant wait to see you guys tomorrow!!

Welcome to the world of sleepless nights!

Big Up The Spa

So, Went out with some really old friends on Saturday night (old being have known them for a long time, they are not pensioners!!) Had such a giggle!!
Mostly just chatting rubbish, laughing and people being surprised to see me!! Cant really tell you too many specifics, mainly because I dont remember. I do however know that I lost my phone!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Some pikey nicked it out of my bag when I was at the bar!!!
It was faulty anyway, but still!!!

ANYWAY>>Here are a few piccies of the night

I would have put more pics on, but took an eternity to do these few......

The Hills

Like, I Love, Love, Like really like Love The Hills on MTV.

Not too sure if you have seen it, but it is a spin off from 'Laguna Beach- the real OC'. It Is so funny to watch these kids, living the life in LA. The drama is so funny and the smalles of issues is always blown up to be a major event.

The best though, is having a conversation on this programme, takes about 15.7 years longer than it actually needs to. I mean, if they didnt always put in the word 'like' like every other word, then they would get it all out a lot quicker!! Im a girl who likes to get in, get it done, get out!!! Also, everything is spoken as if it is a question... the end of the sentence always seems to end in a higher tone than it started. So so funny!!

Anyway, you should check out this episode.....has lots of great examples of the above, and even a bit of a girly bitch fight!!!

Just good, mindless tv!!

'Soooooo, this is where the tragic happens'

Ok, so the title has absolutely nothing to do with what I am writing, but i just heard it whilst watching Ugly Betty and thought it was FU**ING Hilarious!!!!!

I think I am pretty good at putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is ok, but you know sometimes... my god!!!! It is so difficult! I know I am to be thankful for a lot. But sometimes I want to throw a massive 'It's not fair, I'm a spoilt brat laying on the floor kicking and screaming' tantrum! Huge Hissy fit. Probably even add a few tears for good measure!

Picture from Acclaim Images.com

As some of you mat already know, my life has somewhat of a soap opera outline. You literally could read about it in some weekly magazine. I am trying very hard, given the circumstances to constantly do the right thing, make sure everyone else is happy, and try to ignor the feelings I have inside desperately trying to expolde out of every available pore!!!

Sometimes I feel as though there is a huge silver lining, but when I look closer, it is all cracked, scratched and would give you that nasty green tinge should you try to wear it as an accessory. Constant false hope, disguised by friendship, ignored and hidden under trying to keep a happy environment.

I am bursting with not knowing the right thing to do!! I know what I should do, but shoulds and wants, are very different things. Sometimes our hearts do rule our heads.
I hope mine finally gives up......soon!!!!!

Dust? Dust? Anyone...Dust?

Fatties, listen up.

Now, that is a pretty harsh opening line. I will also begin by saying I am not the slimmest of people. However, I have an excuse, I had a baby! ( Although by 6 months, I will definately have no excuse to have it all shifted!!)

I was shopping with my Mum last week, when all that surrounded us, as far as the eye can see, was fat people. Im not talking a little bit of extra weight here. Im talking about legs chaffing, 4 bellies, no neck, need a wheelchair because they cant take their own weight kind of fat.

What the hell is happening? You would think with all of these image obsessed celebrities filling our tabloids, and the huge (or not so) debate of the infamous (and ridiculous) size zero you would think that we as a nation could just say no.
As a child, I distinctly remember my parents saying that to me. A LOT!
No, to new shoes.

No, to new clothes.

No to the shcool trip.

So where along the line did we forget how to say no. I dont want a second helping thanks. Im full.

Instead we keep going.

Guilty pleasures.

I blame comfort eating. But even in my size 12, I still know it time to do something about the excess poundage.

Surely we must all get to the point when enough is enough.... maybe not.

hmmm

Whilst eating my cereal this morning a piece of oat got stuck in my throat... think it is still there, its really sore....

Just thought I would share that with you!! :o)

Explination

OK, so when I started to re-post yesterday, i mentioned about giving a little explination to my somewhat soap opera life.... below is a snippet from an email I sent earlier, which will give you the general idea of what is going on...

The whole thing is a bot of a soap opera really to be honest. Boyf and I were together for 3 and a bit years, we then broke up, but didnt really, I moved out but we stiill spent all of our time together etc, all very complicated.

I was having loads of tests done because the docs thought I had cancer and couldnt have children. When I went for my MRI scan is showed up I was 5 months pregnant, and in perfect health!! SO STRANGE> I was not showing at all and had actually been losing weight.

Boyf and I have not got back together so actually living out my worst fear and am single mum-tastic. We see each other every day and always do loads as a famaily, so it is not to say we wont get back together, but at the moment, we are just taking one day at a time.

So this is my life! Weird how when something like this is thrown at you how you adapt so quickly. Not to say it has been easy though. I do miss a lot and have had to give up a lot, but to be honest, it is totally worth it! ....

Ok so, after what feels like forever trying to get the stupid MySpace site to work, I have finally manged to log back in! In the meantime, I crossed over to the dark side and went to check out Facebook. I have to be honest, I was pretty impressed, really easy to use and set up, and.. I have got back in touch with tons of the old school, Norf Leam massive ;o)

After checking out all of thier pics and having little chats with them, I kinda sat back and evaluated what I have done. Yeah I have had some awesome jobs, seem some amazing places, have some of the best friends I could dream for and an amazing Son, but, for some reason I feel unfulfilled.

I know I wanted to travel more, party a lot more and be considerably more stable before bringing a child into the world, but sometimes life just throws you a curve ball. I am a huge believer in fate, everything happens for a reason and all that, but just sometimes, a little heads up would be nice.